Cashing Out: Leaving Our Heart In San Francisco

No Simon. No Ellen. No Randy. No Mariah. No Minaj. Not nearly upsetting as NO COKE CUPS.

No Simon. No Ellen. No Randy. No Mariah. No Minaj. Not nearly upsetting as NO COKE CUPS.

1) San Fran huh?
It’s like Idol is doing a tour of C-Money’s favorite U.S. cities. I f’n love San Fran – Alcatraz, Danny Tanner, nice bridge, Anchor Steam etc. A few of my favorite people on the planet live out there. Wouldn’t be surprised if they did Vegas and Green Bay next to complete my dream vacation. With San Fran, there’s definitely something you can count on and that’s …

2) Crying gay dudes …
Comes with the territory and it’s always entertaining. And with these 3 judges, it’s hard to say which one they would want to “party with” more. That being said, the crying black gay dude brought the thunder. In the AI world, this IS the golden ticket. You get the black votes, the gay votes and the girls who “wish they had a gay friend like that.” It’s perfect. If I could be any contestant it would definitely be a gay black dude.

3) The Cups …
Where the fuck are the Coke cups?? I could look past it the first episode, but its awkward and it makes me feel like something’s out of place. It’s like wearing two different socks with two different thicknesses (editor’s note – C-Money doesn’t match socks by look; he matches them by how they feel. No bullshit.) Plus, now I can’t tell if they are mad at Coke and whether we should continue drinking Captain and Cokes or Captain and Pepsi or Captain and RC Cola. Wery confusing.

4) Nikki McKibbin and her kid …
This is an easy one. No, not that she fills the stereotypical pierced/tatted up chick who probably needed to “dance to be able to go to medical school.” Or the fact she probably had her kid earlier than she expected in life (too bad MTV didn’t invent Teen Mom in 1998). No, the real lesson is that if you don’t come in first or second in AI, you are dead to the world. Seriously, I can name all 24 1st and 2nd place cats of the last 12 years, but not one third-place person.

5) John Fox …
Not the creepy looking coach of the Broncos, the John Fox who did an awesome job and picked a killer jam with the Dylan/Billy Joel/Garth Brooks hybrid of “Make You Feel My Love.” Best song choice so far.

6) TK Hash …
TK Hash = Hipster Obama. I like him as a dark horse (pun unintended, but actually intended).

7) The night’s winner …
Spencer Lloyd. Two terrible first names, but as your full name it’s dreamboat city. The only problem with this is when he collides with the John Mayer Jr’s and they all steal the tween votes from each other. This guy’s a lock for Top 10 though.

-C-Money

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