American Idol Season 13’s Top 10 and Wild Cards … I think

We can only hope all this goes down on a scary stage like this.

We can only hope all this goes down on a scary stage like this.

Now things are getting real. Sort of.

This is just a prognostication (BOOM big word) piece based on what we saw in auditions and there’s a better than average chance everything is going to change after tonight and tomorrow when they throw the contestants in a lake filled with alligators, advancing the survivors (not an analogy; that’s THE TWIST!).

We’re not picking our favorites here. If you read our Guys Top 15 (here – tinyurl.com/DRITop15Picks ) and the Girls Top 15 (here – tinyurl.com/DRITop15Girls ) you know we’re picking based on who we think the judges are going to put through. If I was picking my own Top 15, it would be guys with guitars and soul singers and the girls would be nothing but hot chicks.

That’s obviously not how the judges picked, so to take our Top 10 – five guys, five girls – I’m getting right up in America’s head. Then we have three Wild Card spots to choose and it won’t be difficult to figure out who they’ll pick.

So let’s do this. Even though there’s a chance some of these picks might not be on the show after tonight. Contestants are listed in no particular order.

AMERICA’S VOTE – Top 5 Guys

5) Spencer Lloyd
WHY AMERICA WILL: Seriously? Have you looked at him? Unless they ban teenage girls from voting, he’s in.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Teen girls fall in love with Johnny Newcomb and vote for him instead.

4) David Luning
WHY AMERICA WILL: There are a lot of people who actually care about the music first. They don’t admit they watch Idol and even if they do, will never confess they vote. But they do. And that’s good for the L-Train.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Maybe Alex Preston goes a little more mainstream in his auditions and takes Luning’s votes or Ethan Thompson steals this spot (more on him later).

3) David Oliver Willis
WHY AMERICA WILL: The producers are going to push last year’s miss and people are going to get it through their heads that he deserves this chance. Plus he’s wholesome and not a WGWG. And there is a portion of the audience that is rebelling against WGWGs.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Savion Wright shows more balance and takes this spot. Another miss for DOW, meaning I can’t get credit for creating the best hashtag for his fans – DOWJones.

2) TK Hash
WHY AMERICA WILL: He’s clean cut, he can sing popular music as well as oldies and that always plays well with gaining votes. Plus, if you check out YouTube comments, there are a lot of fans who really, really, really don’t like anyone who plays guitar.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: America decides all they want is guys playing guitars and he gets left out of the Top 5, but probably gets thrown a bone and earns a Wild Card.

1) CJ Jones
WHY AMERICA WILL: He’s the guy who gets into the Top 5 and I immediately get pissed because one of my favorites didn’t make the cut. He’s got a voice and again, there’s a fraction of voting fans who want guys who can sing, not sing and play.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: John Fox takes his spot because he’s more wholesome and Southerners love a church guy.

AMERICA’S VOTE – Top 5 Girls

5) Tessa Kate
WHY AMERICA WILL: She’s the best out there and everyone knows it. She’s not just getting votes from people who like one genre of music and that easily gets her in.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Turns around her style is a little old for the show and she gets passed by one of the other GWGs.

4) Shelby Comey
WHY AMERICA WILL: Country fans go bananas for this girl because she’s so young. The name “LeAnn Rimes” gets thrown around a lot.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Tessa Kate steals some of her country votes and it turns out America doesn’t want to see a huge country field.

3) Majesty Rose
WHY AMERICA WILL: She steals everyone’s heart. She’s not country, she’s not pop, she’s just “Her Majesty.” Her quirky style plays well and makes her a candidate for the crown.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Turns out America doesn’t like quirky females and would rather see a big-voice singer like Bria Anai or Madelyn Patterson.

2) Aranesa Turner
WHY AMERICA WILL: Her range is the difference-maker and she earns more votes than Bria Anai and Paula Hunt, sliding into the Top 5 and drawing comparisons to Amber Holcomb from last year.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: Everyone falls in love with young Bria Anai or the power from Paula Hunt, knocking Aranesa out of the Top 5.

1) Kenzie Hall
WHY AMERICA WILL: She becomes the darling of the show. Teenage girls love her because she’s not a drama queen and comes off as so friendly, they don’t hate her (and teenage girls love to hate one another). Teenage boys fall in love. Her voice earns accolades and it’s clear she’s the pick.
WHY AMERICA WON’T: The cutesy stuff gets a little sickening and America decides they’d rather see a more aggressive singer, like Jessica Meuse, or someone more fun, like Alyssa Siebken.

So that’s the Top 10. And I’m not happy about it, seeing how I didn’t included my Twitter BFF Alyssa Siebken or Madelyn Patterson, who I’m not really stalking on Twitter but kinda. It’s not a knock on anyone’s talent. At this point, everyone is good and I can’t see the race to the Top 10 not leaving someone really good out. Savion Wright? Too good not to be on. Bria Anai? Too good not to be on. Jocelyn Baker? You’ll see.

You get the point. And then the judges get to pick their wild cards, which is going to be crazy.

WILD CARD PICKS

1) Keith Urban takesEthan Thompson
WHY HE WILL: Keith wants someone who can play and sing and will do well on the show. He knows Ethan got screwed over and has him and Jessica Meuse perform in a sing-off before deciding on Ethan.
WHY HE WON’T: He takes a country-style singer despite three country girls already being on.

2) Harry Connick Jr. takesRemi Wolf
WHY HE WILL: HC knows Wolf’s not going to get the votes she deserves, but with a jazzy background she’s a no-brainer choice for him. He makes it look good and has her perform with Bria Anai in a sing-off, gives a speech on how they’re both young and talented, and goes with Remi.
WHY HE WON’T: He decides he saw something he liked from one of the guitar-playing contestants – Savion Wright or Keri Lynn Roche or Alyssa Siebken, perhaps – and is shocked America didn’t include them. Puts them in, sans sing off. Everyone gets pissed.

3) J-Lo takesRyan Nisbett
WHY SHE WILL: J-Lo loves three things. 1) Being from the block. 2) Nobody making jokes about her ass anymore. 3) Goosies. And Ryan Nisbett gives her goosies. All. Day. Long.
WHY SHE WON’T: She’s sad the Paula Hunt/Bria Anai/Madelyn Patterson doesn’t get through and she picks one of them instead. There’s no way she doesn’t go singer only here.

So with that, here is the official Dudes Review Idol Top 13 Predictions:
Guys: Spencer Lloyd, David Luning, David Oliver Willis, TK Hash, CJ Jones, Ryan Nisbett, Ethan Thompson
Girls: Tessa Kate, Shelby Comey, Majesty Rose, Aranesa Turner, Kenzie Hall, Remi Wolf.

I was going to break it down more from there, but that requires a hell of a lot more work and blind guessing. We’ve seen a lot of talented performers and I can’t even imagine the good ones we haven’t seen. Like I said in the original post, if I can hit half of the Top 30 and six of the Top 13, I’m probably not going to shut up about how smart I am for the rest of the season.

Are these my personal picks for Top 13? Nope. Because I would pick people who I would want to be entertained by and I’m a beer-guzzling dude. I just want awesome covers in every performance (and definitely not songs that make me cry) and not boring-ass copy and paste jobs.

The second season of American Idol Season 13 starts tonight.

Hope y’all are ready to take the ride.

I’ll be live tweeting – @DudesReviewIdol – after I pick Madelyn Patterson my wife up from work, so I’ll be a little late to the show, but you can also join my partner in crime CMoney on Twitter – @CmoneyIdol – and check the site 30 minutes or so after the show for my drunken recap.

Captain

Advertisements