Don’t Cross Michael Orland, the toughest dude on American Idol

"Yeah, I'm laying on a bench. Talk shit and I will cut you with piano wire."

“Yeah, I’m laying on a bench. Talk shit and I will cut you with piano wire.”

I want to tell you about the biggest badass on American Idol.

It’s Michael Orland. Legit terrifying.

For the uninformed, he’s the pianist (don’t laugh at the word; he’ll find you and cut your throat) and musical director for Idol. And he doesn’t give a fuck what these little snot-nosed, wannabe musicians think.

Dude is king of the eye rolls and snide comments. You have a shitty idea? Michael tells you it’s shitty. He’ll be damned if you’re gonna go out with your awful arrangement, bomb, and then blame it on him.

And if there is one thing an Idol contestant should never do, it’s blame the band. That’s worse than snitching.

He’s doesn’t take shit from anybody and has already had a couple beautiful comments. With the final auditions coming up next week, watch out for Orland. Because you can only play ‘Royals’ and listen to shitty Beyonce impressions so many times before you snap.

The Captain

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