Golden Ticket: American Idol’s Top 10 Girls … or something like that

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Why do the judges continue to let the blood cover their hands?

Tonight’s performance/elimination was another producer driven show. They’re pushing storylines and trying to figure out ways to get viewers, ignoring the obvious way – putting the best talent through.

The show prides itself on variety and originality, but look at the 10 who sung tonight. Are you telling me the superteens – Briana Oakley, Bria Anai Johnson and Malaya Watson – aren’t the same style of singer? That’s 30 percent of your field and based on performances, should make up 40 percent of the top 5.

Nothing was worse than the Marrialle Sellars selection. I’ve opined that the hatred on her was overdone, solely a result of the producers showing her in two separate episodes. Turns out the hatred was well deserved; Marrialle didn’t just bomb tonight, she bombed in fantastic fashion. She was so bad when Keith Urban said something about her stage presence being strong in the middle of a “calamity” the crowd cheered because they thought that was a good thing. It wasn’t. She was worse than me when I do karaoke, and when I do it I’ve got her by 160 pounds and 15 drinks.

Wait, there might have been something worse than the Marrialle Sellars selection – not picking Jillian Jensen. You can call me fat, or call me big boned, but don’t call me the skinniest fat kid and don’t tell me she wasn’t picked because of her connection to Simon Cowell‘s failed X-Factor. She had a fanbase that would have been tough for any of the other contestants to top and probably would have won the show.

And then there was Kenzie Hall. She was marvelous in every appearance. Her ‘Macklemore’ cover was nothing short of brilliant and is the type of showing that wins titles. Was it not better than anything we’ve seen from Marrialle? Or Briana Oakley?

I don’t have an issue with MK Nobilette. She left me wanting more. I want to see what she can do on the big stage and she did not disappoint tonight. But if you think her being gay and looking like Bieber didn’t play into her selection, you’re naïve. It’s not the only reason, but it played a part. The producers had to be breathing a sigh of relief because after the Marrialle disaster – and let’s be honest (that’s what we do here) it was the worst performance of the night and perhaps one of the worst ever at this point of the show – they needed her to be good so they didn’t look like assholes.

I will complain about Randy Jackson. The 10 smelled like a Randy 10. If you haven’t watched in the past, the Dawgfather isn’t a fan of country singers or white girls who look like your out-of-the-magazine pop stars. Austin Wolfe, Kenzie, Jillian, and Brenna had no chance.

I’m not going to be one of those commentators who bitches about people who didn’t get in and don’t talk about who they should have replaced. It’s pretty simple, obviously.

IN: Kenzie Hall (too good not to put in)
OUT: Briana Oakley (well behind Bria and Malaya)

IN: Jillian Jensen (She’s proven her talent on another show)
OUT: Emily Piriz (although just turned legal, she turned on the sex and will be a top 5 candidate, which I am thoroughly excited for).

If anything I wish they would have given all the candidates a chance. I wanted to see Andrina perform. I don’t think she was one of the 10 best or even one of the five, but give her a shot. There wasn’t much that separated Austin Wolfe from Emily Piriz; why take Emily but include three teen singers who all sound the same?

Tomorrow I’ll have a full breakdown of the show, as well as my pre-show Top 5 Guys predictions. Thursday afternoon I’ll have a Top 10 prediction piece as well as who I think the wild card choices will be. If I have the time I’ll pick the contestants I want; again, who I want and who I think America will pick vary. I’ll be live tweeting tomorrow night – link here: @DudesReviewIdol – and @CMoneyIdol is probably gonna be out until he gets back from the hospital after the birth of his second child and first son, named Ryan Seacrest Cowell Dawg Lambert Money.

The Captain

PS J-Lo was so hot tonight I licked my TV. Goosies for days.

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