American Idol’s Top 10 Guys … I think

If you think I'm not rooting for this chubby MFer, you are high.

If you think I’m not rooting for this chubby MFer, you are high.

Think American Idol predictions are easy?

Try doing them.

Picking five guys from 15 isn’t difficult. You can figure out who America will vote for based on past tendencies, past performances and guessing on how they’ll perform. But throwing in the judges and producers’ picks?
Now it’s even harder.

That said, this is a solid group of guys who are very interchangible so I could see someone like Malcolm Allen getting in and George Lovett getting eliminated or vice versa.

And because I’m so badass (if J-Lo can say it, so can I) I’m gonna tell you who the Top 10 are too.

THE TOP 10: Spencer Lloyd, Sam Woolf, Maurice Townsend, Emmanuel Zidor, Alex Preston, Malcolm Allen, CJ Harris, Briston Maroney, Caleb Johnson, Dexter Roberts
(PS I need to see George Lovett in there. New Jack Swing)


1) Spencer Lloyd
BRIEFLY: Hunk city USA. He’s got the look and a decent enough sound. Seems like a goody-goody, but he’ll make hearts melt and fingers dial.
STRENGTHS: Baby blues and pearly whites. And a strong jawline.
WHY WE’RE WRONG: He decides to sing without playing an instrument and you realize if you close your eyes, he’s closer to the bottom five than the top five.
WHY WE’RE RIGHT: He doesn’t have the voice some of the others do, but he can makes up for it with his piano and marketability. Slam dunk pick here.

2) Sam Woolf
BRIEFLY: The boy next door who’s turning into a young, pre-chick slaying John Mayer. He’s America’s Good Ol’ Boy. Mothers love him, fathers want to hang out with him until they realize he’s trying to bang their daughters.
WHY WE’RE WRONG: American Idol voters take a stand against WGWG.
WHY WE’RE RIGHT: He’s too good not get in. He’ll pick something with a country twang and crush it in the voting.

3) Malcolm Allen
BRIEFLY: I keep comparing him to Burnell Taylor from Season 12 and I keep remembering Burnell was really, really good.
STRENGTHS: Crooner voice. Good look. Nothing crazy that will scare old white women away (they’ll probably compare him to Sammy Davis Jr.).
WHY WE’RE WRONG: He can’t New Jack Swing past the King of NJS George Lovett.
WHY WE’RE RIGHT: Call it a hunch. I can see Allen, Lovett or Townsend in this spot and for whatever reason, Allen just fits the profile better than the other two.

4) Caleb Johnson
BRIEFLY: He looks like Jack Black and acts like him. Doesn’t sing like him, because he doesn’t sound like the devil is taking a dump in his throat.
STRENGTHS: Voice + Stage Presence = domination. He can get a little over the top, but it’s OK. America is gonna go apeshit for him when he starts banging out Skynard covers.
WHY WE’RE WRONG: He decides to show his softer side and does something out of Lionel Richie’s catalog.
WHY WE’RE RIGHT: Dude’s been on fire all year. If he ends up in the Top 13, he’s automatically a favorite to go all the way.

5) CJ Harris
BRIEFLY: He’s shown emotion. He’s shown talent. He’s shown a voice. He’s shown it all.
STRENGTHS: He’s a complete package. While they had him paired up with Casey Thrasher in the Final Judgment round, that was for show. America is going to fall in love with this dude if they haven’t already.
WHY WE’RE WRONG: He comes out and does a cover of “Straight Outta Compton” and scares the bejesus out of everyone.
WHY WE’RE RIGHT: They talk about likability? He’s got it coming out his b-hole. You look at him and just want chill. I don’t know shit about country music, but this guy won’t win the show and will end up the most famous of everybody.

So that’s who I think the judges will have sing and who America will put in. Is that how I’d do it?
Hell no. I’m all about entertainment and what I want to hear.

My personal picks:
TOP 10: George Lovett, Sam Woolf, Emmanuel Zidor, Malcolm Allen, Jordan Brisbane, CJ Harris, Briston Maroney, Caleb Johnson, Alex Preston, Dexter Roberts
TOP 5 (if I voted, and I don’t, because I’m a dude): George, Emmanuel, Sam, Caleb, CJ.

I’ll be live tweeting starting at 8 p.m. EST and again for the West Coast if I haven’t passed out by then. You can find the link to my twitter HERE. I’ll have an instant recap up after the first show HERE.