Golden Ticket: American Idol Wild Card Picks – America, F*ck Yeah

Add "picking Season 13 of American Idol" to the list of things the US rules at.

Add “picking Season 13 of American Idol” to the list of things the US rules at.

Did America just not totally screw up American Idol?

Maybe it was the quality – or equality – of the contestants, but there was nothing dirty about the way Thursday night’s results show went down.

Sure, CJ Harris was the best performer of the Guys Night, but he ended up in as a Wild Card – and no doubt picked last to see if he or his family would have an emotional breakdown – so no harm done there. That’s why there’s a Wild Card – in case of a mistake.

If there was one surprising pick, it was the non-selection of Spencer Lloyd. He wasn’t one of the five best singers, but he was one of the five best Idols. He seemed like a lock based on looks alone. The show has suffered from dwindling ratings and perhaps those points are Spencer’s audience – the teenaged girls who voted in droves and nearly won David Archuleta a title he should have never been competing for.

If the show did one thing right, it was banging out the names in rapid-fire succession. It was nice to just have results instead of waiting around, watching some BS group number. Just give me names Seacrest, and did he ever. A power bomb of a hug from Caleb Johnson didn’t sway the best host in show biz. He spouted out the names and there wasn’t one named called that made me leap from my couch and scream FUCKING BULLSHIT.

There wasn’t anyone more excited than me when Seacrest started spitting out names. If you read my predictions, I picked Malaya Watson, Emily Piriz, Jessica Meuse, Alex Preston and Ben Briley to get through. Dexter Roberts ended my streak, but I wasn’t appalled by his selection; I certainly thought it meant the end of Caleb Johnson, but his name was called after Majesty Rose (who I didn’t pick because I thought Kristen O’Conner was going to be in as the WGWV).

Proud of America for putting MK Nobilette through. Sam Woolf was only a surprise because I was certain that was going to be CJ Harris’ spot. Still – are any of those selections bad?

The only thing that shocked me was the lack of black performers on the guys’ side. I thought one of the R&B guys – George Lovett and Malcolm Allen – would get in on vote, especially with how the girls vote went. Guess Ice Dancing at the Winter Olympics was more intriguing than Guys Night.

The Wild Card round was uneventful. With CJ Harris not voted in, he was a no-brainer WC choice. It actually would have made for better TV if Urban or Connick stood up and stopped the show to put him in, similar to the time Randy made Casey Abrams stop in the middle of his “Save” performance.

CJ was bad, and whether it was from nerves or the band – don’t be surprised if TMZ has video of Michael Orland punching Connick in the face for that comment – he didn’t deserve it based on tonight. Good thing it wasn’t based just on tonight.

It wasn’t a surprise to see Geena Gina Jena Asciutto and she nailed her performance and there wasn’t a soul who didn’t think Spencer Lloyd wasn’t getting called. I was actually impressed by how likable he was with a guitar and by the end of his song, I was hoping he’d get in just so I could root against him the rest of the season. I enjoyed Bria Anai Johnson’s performance, but I’m a huge fan. She could have sat on stage and farted out “What Does the Fox Say?” and I would have defending her. Kristen O’Conner went last and was a disaster.

(Biggest surprise of the Wild Card Auditions was J-Lo didn’t pick Emmanuel Zidor. Based on her undying love for Manny Z, thought he was going to get picked, much to America’s displeasure. I was rooting for it, actually).

When it was all said and done, the judges picked Jena first, which was good to see. She should be a solid contestant. Kristin was next and we found out she was just another version of Spencer when CJ was called to close the show.

It would have been nice to see Malcolm Allen have a chance to sing for a WC spot, but he’s not getting in over CJ or Jena and they weren’t going to have a show without one drop-dead gorgeous person, so I get it. I wanted to see Bria in the Top 13 because of how she turned me around. I figured she was going to be a diva and be someone to hate; instead she became a sweetheart and will be missed.

The selection process isn’t perfect and this group isn’t either. Here’s the thing – none of the casts in the history of the show have. There’s always going to be singers people don’t like and singers people do. I’m actually impressed because after the disaster that was last season, this cast is put together so much better and we might actually get back to Idol being its old self.

Coming tomorrow – a full recap of the results as well as my thoughts on the contestants who did make it. In the coming days, we’ll do what nobody else will dare to try – tell you who’s getting eliminated and when it’s happening and who is winning the whole damn thing. Setting up to be a great season.


PS I hit 2 of America’s Top 5 Guys, 4 of the 5 girls and named one of the three wild cards. However, of the 13 names I picked, 10 of the 13 are in. My misses? Spencer, Bria and Malcolm Allen. In their place are Sam Woolf, Majesty and Dexter Roberts.

PPS Of my post audition, pre-Hollywood Top 13 picks, I got one. Majesty Rose. So we’ll pretend I never did that.