Breaking it down: Who didn’t make American Idol’s Top 13?

Quick - which one is Marrialle Sellars, which one is Miley Cyrus?

Quick – which one is Marrialle Sellars, which one is Miley Cyrus?

You can read about who made American Idol’s Top 13 anywhere.

Now I’d prefer you stick to OUR SITE (CLICK HERE) but there are plenty of more talented, well-informed, not-drunk-off-their ass writers elsewhere.

Today I don’t want to talk about who made it and why they did. Because here’s the breakdown:

1) The Top 5 Girls – Jessica Meuse, MK Nobilette, Emily Piriz, Majesty Rose, Malaya Watson
WHY THEY’RE IN: America voted for them

2) The Top 5 Guys – Ben Briley, Caleb Johnson, Alex Preston, Dexter Roberts, Sam Woolf
WHY THEY’RE IN: America voted for them

3) CJ Harris
WHY HE’S IN: Was the best guy on Wednesday night

4) Geena Gina Jena Asciutto
WHY SHE’S IN: She was the most well-rounded musician not voted in

5) Kristen O’Conner
WHY SHE’S IN: Pretty white people who can sing equal ratings

There, that pretty much nails it down. America did a decent job, so let’s try to figure out why the others didn’t get in.

THE GUYS

1) Malcolm Allen
BRIEFLY: Malcolm catching the boot may have been the biggest shock of the night because if you looked at the five guys who got in, the have one thing in common – they white.
WHY HE’S OUT: Two reasons. First, the non-controversial one – he picked a song not a lot of people knew. If you need votes, you have to pander to the masses. The second? He split the black vote or the black vote was just non-existent this year. Thought he was going to be in because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Black Twitter this season, it’s they hate WGWGs.
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: There’s so smooth R&B guys this year and they’re the ones who usually start slow, gain an audience, then make people cry like pussies.

2) Spencer Lloyd
BRIEFLY: I’m still shocked he didn’t get voted in. He was the most popular contestant based on Twitter followers (take out Sam Woolf or Alex Preston and Spencer’s 27,400 followers are more than the rest of the guys combined) but his cockiness – or at least the attitude portrayed – came back to bite him.
WHY HE’S OUT: Perhaps the “teen girls not being able to stop voting for hunks” thing is a fallacy and stopped existing because they would rather picture banging Bieber or One Direction instead of some no-name Idol. Or maybe America saw through the act and said “he’s a good looking kid, but other than that he’s patently mediocre.”
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: He clearly has some talent. His musical ability got lost in the shuffle. Plus, it would have been great to see be contestant that everyone clearly hated.

3) Emmanuel Zidor
BRIEFLY: Probably the most fun “character” on the show. He was an underdog – I’m not saying because he was a supergay; anyone who thinks I really give a shit about that stuff hasn’t been around these parts that long – but managed to stay on the fun side without becoming a joke.
WHY HE’S OUT: His Top 10 performance was a clear example of not understanding how to win Idol; his song choice wasn’t something that would get people at home excited – disco is horrendous unless you strip it down and change everything – and it didn’t compliment his voice. J-Lo even broke the rules for him, letting him spit out a few more bars to show off his voice. Wasn’t enough.
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: Look at the six guys who are in – are any of them as fun as Manny Z? Hell no. He would have been fun to watch and definitely would have grown on people.

4) George Lovett
BRIEFLY: He looked straight out of every 90s R&B video and could have stole guys night with a Toni Tony Tone song or something by Johnny Gill. Wracked by nerves he tried to do Grenade, which was fitting – because he practically blew up on stage.
WHY HE’S OUT: His performance cost him. His voice was big time but he wasn’t their mentally. Before the performances, I almost picked George and Malcolm to get in – like I said, black vote – but
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: Because even if he through a Cross Colours T-Shirt during “New Jack Swing Week,” everyone would have loved his version of “Return of the Mack.”

THE GIRLS

1) Bria Anai Johnson
BRIEFLY: The little girl with the crazy lips and big voice. I thought she was great in the Girls Top 10, but the judges said she shouted a little too much. Then in the Wild Card she was a token pick to sing, because her performance was better than Kristen O’Conner’s and CJ Harris’s – and only a step or two behind Jena’s – but it was clear the judges didn’t care if she sounded pre-crack pre-dead Whitney.
WHY SHE’S OUT: Split votes are the likely culprit. Idol doesn’t release the votes, but if I had to guess I’d say Jessica Meuse had the highest totals (country vote) followed by Emily Piriz (young hottie). MK and Majesty Rose were probably neck and neck for third, which means Malaya, Bria and Briana – and maybe even KO – were splitting votes battling it out for the final spot.
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: Of the girls, she had the best pure voice and it could have made for some “WOW” moments. Her schtick may have gotten on people’s nerves. Usually I’m in the camp of getting annoyed by divas-in-the-making, but Bria proved to be a genuinely awesome person who just happened to like to have her lips glow in the dark.

2) Briana Oakley
BRIEFLY: She looked like Tia – or Tamara – from “Sister, Sister” but sung like a goddess. She was pretty damn close to unbelievable every time they showed her, only to return to average during the Top 10 Girls performances.
WHY SHE’S OUT: It was a numbers game and I think an indicator that black folks aren’t watching. I was ready to see Briana, Bria and Malaya in with Jessica Meuse and Emily Piriz (MK would have been a WC with Majesty Rose). Instead, MK got in, Majesty got in (not totally surprised) and Malaya was the only super-voiced teen to make it through. Wouldn’t be shocked to see Briana with the sixth-highest vote total.
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: Would have been nice to have one more powerful girls voice. Of the three, she was third on my list, but having her in would have annoyed me on a personal level rather than a professional one because she clearly had the goods to do it. Plus having her and Malaya battle for votes every week could have led to some legendary performances.

3) Marrialle Sellars
BRIEFLY: Probably the season’s most controversial contestant. There was no between-ground with her; people either loved her to death or wished she’d go away quicker than Brian Dunkleman. She had the worst Top 10 performance of anyone and after that it was really hard to understand why she was picked over the likes of Jillian Jensen and Kenzie Hall.
WHY SHE’S OUT: Her awful Top 10 performance notwithstanding, Marrialle was hurt by the editing-screw-up/producer-push (people didn’t vote of her specifically because of it) and the fact that she didn’t have a true genre of music fans to back her up. But mainly because of her Top 10 performance.
WHY AMERICA F*CKED UP: She put together some good sounds in Hollywood and performers who don’t have one specific genre end up taking eliminated people’s fans and riding them all the way. Plus, she looks like black Miley Cyrus.

-DRI

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