Cashing Out: Hollywood Nights in those Hollywood Hills

CMoney got hammered one night and slept between the Os.

CMoney got hammered one night and slept between the Os.

Uh, where to begin?

I’ve been on a hunger/AI strike since the atomic bomb went off a few weeks ago and continued it’s carnage like Chernobyl this past week. I don’t need to recap it, since the Captain did an amazing job at it, but I just want to say the fact that Alyssa, Tessa, Madelyn, Kenz, and John Fox aren’t in this anymore makes me want to punt a baby and I just had one this week, so I have clearance to use that analogy.

(The only plus was that Spencer got eliminated, he struck me as a smug dbag. I could be wrong, but probably not, since my intuition is usually laser focused)

Speaking of laser focused, how about that U.S. Ice Dancing team? I can’t tell if Olive from Popeye is hot or not. I’m for serious, cant tell, she’s either a 10 or 1.

Lastly, I’m pumped for live week and even more pumped the Coke cups are back. As I said, the Captain is like the Adam Schefter of AI so I’m going to give you some different goods. If you’re going to the live shows, here’s your guide to all that is awesome in Hollywood. I’m writing as a local, and when I say local, I mean someone who was born in Texas, grew up in Massachusetts and spent less than a year in West Hollywood (not gay).

However, I guarantee this is your go-to guide on why this part of the country is awesome. Here’s the top reasons over the next few blogs on what you have to see/experience.

Tonight we’ll focus on the Sunset Strip.

Sunset Blvd: I love this place so much. I lived on Melrose and worked at the Argyle Hotel (now Sunset Towers) in the heart of the strip. The history on this mile is so awesome; Comedy Store, Saddle Ranch, Chateau, etc., etc. The place is like Disney if Walt Disney was into Marlboro Reds and high fashion. The whole strip doesn’t make sense but at the same time does.

On that note, when I was bartending at Sunset, a few awesome entertainment encounters on my shifts.

Bill Murray: He came in , gave everyone who was working a $100 bill to “get a hair cut.”

Lionel Richie and David Foster: They came in and played the piano out of the blue, took requests, very cool cats.

Vanessa Marcil: Mmmm, Vanessa (Editor’s note: shocked CMoney didn’t tell the story about eating her cookie. That’s not a dirty metaphor. He ate a half-eaten cookie she had left behind for the story. The man is not right)

The entire cast from Dazed and Confused: they legit came in 2-3 times a week and they were legit as cool as in the movies, asked me every week if I’d drink scotch with them and tell them jokes. I did both.

Roseanne Cast Reunion post party: They were so awesome, Roseanne was funny as shit, they were great and HOOKED IT UP tip wise. Never was really in the show, but now I watch Nick at Nite.

Lastly, and this ones a big mind-F – Dakota Johnson’s 16th bday party: Don Johnson (her dad) and Melanie Griffith (her mom) were there and after wrapping it up (the steak, not putting on a rubber), Dakota asks me “do you want to come up to my suite and party.” I said no for 2 reasons. 1, had a girlfriend (now my wife and baby momma) and 2, 16!!!! And as the Captain says “Jailbait All-Star!”

HOWEVER, now looking in hindsight, I could have got with the chick who is now in the 50 Shades of Grey of movie! And for her to get cast there, she must have done something awesome on the casting couch. SO chalk that one up to an oops on my part. A great place to work, nevertheless.

My write-ups the next few weeks will feature more Hollywood “must-see” places. As I stated, I’m so fucking pissed about the judges ( aka Harry’s) actions that I want to stray away from the game analysis for a while. The Captain will take care of those.