American Idol Top 3 Elimination: Alex goes home to his super hot girlfriend, plenty of adoring fans and the kind of groupies you write home about

Forget American Idol - which one of the finalists has better hair?

Forget American Idol – which one of the finalists has better hair?

No Alex Preston in the final?

What?

It makes sense.

There’s no way you can tell me Alex isn’t a better talent than Caleb Johnson or Geena Gina Jena Irene. He proved it all season and he’s got the marketability the American Idol Season 13 finalists lack. For better or worse, rock gods aren’t in high demand and goth-glam-rock chicks aren’t exactly tearing up the charts either (that’s not saying Caleb and Jena won’t be successful; they just won’t have the sales of Alex).

Alex isn’t in the final because he couldn’t figure out if he wanted to be an artist or an Idol, which is strange because when Alex was being an artist, he was being the perfect American Idol contestant (wrap your head around that one). His worst performances were the forced, modern-day songs that really weren’t in his arsenal. As much as the judges and Twitterverse crapped on him for being a “coffeehouse singer,” that genre is gold. Jason Mraz will tell you all about it while he drives by you in his Porsche, which he’s only driving that day because he wants to see what it’s like to be poor as shit.

Alex is going to be fine without American Idol and it’s not like he cost himself a spot. He got beat out.

I made this comparison after the live show Wednesday, but it remains true: when the NCAA picks teams for its hoops tournament and is trying to figure out the last few at-large berths, a big topic of discussion is how you finished.

Same goes for Idol and Jena and Caleb finished strong. Two weeks ago I was ready to call Jena the winner – and PS, remember in The Top 8 when I said “if she ends up winning Season 13, we’re going to look back at this season and say ‘Her top 8 performance is when she figured it out?’” I DO – and it wasn’t the first time. She almost didn’t make the Top 13 – it was ridiculous she had to partake in the wildcard round – and she almost got booted before Dexter fucking Roberts. Twice. Now she’s a bona fide Idol superstar and, like I said, her cover of Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” will go down as the No. 2 most clutch performance in the history of the show. Book it.

Caleb didn’t need clutch. He just made us want to do blow, hang out with girls and bang hookers. Loved what he’s done coming down the homestretch where he went from the undisputed favorite to be the runner-up, then slowly closed the gap between he and Alex, became neck and neck with Alex and then ran past him faster than Idol producers ignoring the fact he called fans retards.

For the Idol purist, a Caleb-Jena final is best. They’ve been on top of their game – and if you don’t think this is a game, why are you watching? – when it mattered most and my expectations are high. I don’t know if we’ve ever had a truly amazing finale where the outcome was decided on those performances. I’ll stick with my claim – whoever performs best in Week 3 wins the show and with that I’m taking Caleb for the win, but it’s gonna be close.

I’m in the process of moving and work just started, but I’ll try to sit down, ignore my family, get hammercocked and put down a game plan for Caleb and Jena in what I think will be the best final show since the Lee DeWyze-Crystal Bowersox battle. I went there.

Can’t wait.

-Dude

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