Who’s making the American Idol Top 13? The Dude Who Knows Makes His Picks

It might end up being the saving grace of the show.

With what we saw last week from the American Idol Top 16, I can confidently surmise there is no way America will not fuck up this vote. At least one, if not two, contestants who don’t deserve it will make it to the Top 10 because it happens every year so we all need to brace for it now.

Thank god for the Wild Card selections, giving us about a 99 percent certainty we’ll have the 10 best contestants and two who will be gone the first two weeks of live shows.

Who should make it and who America votes for are two different beasts. It’s just as tough to pick the five best from the girls as it is from the guys because of how good the girls were and how mediocre the guys were.

While I think I should be given carte blanche in picking who moves on and who doesn’t, it don’t work that way so I can only offer who I would put through.

For the guys, picking is simple. You take last week’s performances and throw them all right in the trash. It was so meh from top to bottom nobody should be judged on that alone. For the girls, you do the opposite. You kick out anyone who was mediocre and move from there, which still leaves six for five spots in my eyes.

My guys are simple – it’s Clark Beckham, Quentin Alexander, Mark Andrew, Nick Fradiani and Adam Ezegelian.

My girls picks, quick and easy – Jax, Joey Cook, Tyanna Jones, Sarina-Joi and Loren Lott

That makes the wild card choices equally easy – Adanna Duru, Rayvon Owen and Qaasim Middleton.

My explanation? Basically those are the performers I like or sing a style in which I would prefer to hear. Qaasim is in there solely based on theatrics.

America and I never agree, so here’s who’s going to be getting through.

If we’re picking guys, Clark Beckham is really the only 100 percent slam dunk. I’m hesitant to put Qaasim in that category because I think there are a bunch of voters who realize he can’t really sing all that well, but if he’s not voted in J-Lo will claim racism while Harry apologizes on behalf of white America.

Nick Fradiani isn’t a slam dunk, but he’ll make it on looks alone. I want to believe Adam Ezegelian will be voted in because who doesn’t love a fat guy with an afro, but I don’t think that’s in the cards. Mark Andrew steals a spot – and I say steals after being on his side all season; last week was a hiccup and it might cost him because if that was a preview of what’s to come, he’s not doing as well as I thought – and that really leaves the final spot down to Daniel Seavey, Quentin Alexander or Rayvon Owen.

The easy money is on Daniel because he’s young and cute and blah blah blah. I don’t think Rayvon has the support the other two do, so let’s kick him off for the moment. Can Quentin? Not with Qaasim eating up his fan base.

So there’s the five guys America votes in: Clark Beckham, Qaasim Middleton, Nick Fradiani, Mark Andrew and Daniel Seavey.

Will any of the remaining guys get a wild card spot? Yes – but just one.

I can’t see a world in where the girls don’t take two of the wild card spots unless the vote goes perfectly for the producers. If there’s one spot, it’s going to Quentin Alexander. If Seavey doesn’t make it, they’ll pass; if Mark Andrew doesn’t make it, he’ll take a spot. Any of the other guys would also be wild card locks. Pencil in Quentin as a Wild Card and those are the guys.

For the girls, it’s a little easier because Jax, Joey Cook and Tyanna Jones are locks. Problem is, so are Adanna Duru, Sarina-Joi Crowe and Loren Lott. That’s six and that’s one two many, so one of these chicks is getting the boot.

The first three should be in for sure. They’re the three best and I’d add Sarina-Joi to the mix. At this point for one spot, I’m flipping a coin. I think Loren has a better on-stage personality and that resonates with the voters, but Adanna is better on voice alone because her on-stage moments border the creepy/scary line.

However, neither are getting in because the final spot is going to Maddie Walker.

I cannot foresee a country girl not getting in. It just doesn’t happen. I’m forgetting names right now, but one year two of them made it when they clearly didn’t deserve it and nearly won the damn thing. Maddie Walker is a stone-cold lock.

So that’s who America votes in – Jax, Joey Cook, Tyanna Jones, Sarina Joi-Crowe and Maddie Walker.

With two wild card spots left, Adanna and Loren take them both. If any of the top four girls somehow don’t get voted in, they’ll take the spot.

So, to review, here’s your Top 13.

GUYS: Clark Beckham, Qaasim Middleton, Nick Fradiani, Mark Andrew, Daniel Seavey
GIRLS: Jax, Joey Cook, Tyanna Jones, Sarina-Joi Crowe, Maddie Walker
WILD CARDS: Quentin Alexander (J-Lo’s Pick), Adanna Duru (Keith’s pick), Loren Lott (Harry’s pick)

There’s a possibility if Adanna and Loren aren’t voted in, the judges decide to only take one and give Rayvon a spot. I don’t like that idea, but it could happen because of the similarities in style. Would anyone be surprised if J-Lo put Alexis Gomez through if her and Maddie Walker were sitting up there without a spot?

Tonight is not going to be perfect, so let’s just sit back and enjoy the show/voting/whatever.
Because next week, the fun really starts.