I have returned from the dead, thanks to Jax, SCOTT BORCHETTA and American Idol

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Don’t worry y’all. I’m alive.

So after last week’s terrific American Idol, where I lost my SnapChat and Periscope virginity as well as getting obnoxiously drunk, things took a downhill turn.

I’ll spare the specific details, but I had a shitty week. Literally and figureatively.

Thursday I thought I was just hung over, so I manned my way through it. Thursday night was nothing but bad times. Barely slept. Was 100 percent certain I had blogged my last blog and was headed to the great Idol stage in the sky.

Woke up Friday (HALLELUJAH) and felt horrible. Making it worse was a friend was getting married that night, which meant me and my buddies were gonna get sloppy drunk and dance our faces off. I ended up going, but didn’t have a drop of booze. Barely ate. Good to see people, but still bad times.

Saturday I felt better, but I got cocky and started eating food again and the bad times just restarted. Sunday and Monday were total disasters. Yesterday I started feeling better and today I’m not quite 100 percent, but I’m not running to the bathroom every hour, so that’s a HUGE plus.

The most upsetting part of all this – besides not being able to drink free booze Friday – was not being able to sit down and crank out blogs. Really wanted to break down last week’s performances but I could barely sit up. Did a lot of sleeping and running to the bathroom. Not a lot of TV.

When I saw the themes – a soulful song and something from your hometown – I was pumped. Knew I could find some entertaining songs. Couldn’t muster the strength.

But then, out of nowhere, a beacon of light.

A follower notified me of this tweet from Jax:

Wonder which site has written this song was perfect for her? Not this one – http://wp.me/p4fsIS-i6 – or this one – http://wp.me/p4fsIS-i6.

In fact, this tweet was two days before Jax tweeted out the teaser:

Pressure filled night tonight for me, because if Jax doesn’t perform the hell out of it I’m gonna feel like I cost her a chance at winning. I’m not one of these bloggers that just throws out mindless song selections; I’ve been pitching that song because it was a perfect fit for her and I thought it could be a game-changer.

Now Jax is either going to prove me right or I’m going to have to crawl back in the hole I came from.
Seeing Jax picking that song clearly helped me heal, but when I saw this on my notifications, it was official: I AM HEALED.

IF SCOTT BORCHETTA IS WATCHING, I NEED TO BRING MY A GAME. THAT’S GOING TO BE TOUGH WITHOUT BOOZE, BUT I THINK I CAN FIND A WAY.

Tonight’s gonna be filled with the usual tweets, but I’m gonna try to throw some SnapChat in there and will do some Periscope talks during commercial breaks. If you don’t know what Periscope is, download the app and follow DudesReviewIdol. Basically, it’s a live video chat. You can watch me talk Idol and text me questions during the breaks. I’d show you my face but this is springtime and I’m super FAAAAT right now.

Gonna be a good night.

PS Gotta love the marketing by me. We hit an all-time high in web hits Thursday, then go Zero Dark 30 for a week. Not the best way to retain an audience.

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