That time American Idol made everyone cry when they brought Tristan McIntosh’s mom out after her audition

All the feels

All the feels

The slowest hour of American Idol was quickly followed by an hour of contenders.

And then American Idol gave us a punch in the face.

The quantity of talent from Thursday’s show drowned Wednesday’s premiere, but the only moment anyone should talk about is the final two minutes when Idol surprised a 15-year old contestant by bringing her military mom into the room after her audition.

Tristan McIntosh, who looks suspiciously like Nani, minus the crazy eyes, from MTV’s The Challenge, had a terrific audition. Her performance of “Why Baby Why” immediately screamed Top 12 and would have been a great way for the episode to end.

But then Harry Connick Jr. said he got an email from someone and started reading it, which was right about the moment I said “the M.F.ers are gonna bring her mom out, aren’t they” and boom, out comes mom and there go my emotions all over the floor.

Let’s hope producers don’t milk this moment. It was prepackaged and clear some were in on it – my wife said “the dad is a horrible actor; you could tell something was up,” which makes me think my wife is either better at reading people that aren’t me or she was lying to get herself in the blog – but if you don’t cry when military members are reunited with their families after serving overseas, fuck you.

(Sorry for the language, I’m trying to clean things up a big, but that’s really the only response to people who would say something negative about this moment)
Tristan’s performance was the caboose to a train of terrific female performers. If you think American Idol isn’t pushing for a strong female to booked Kelly Clarkson, you’re not paying attention. They rolled them out in droves, sandwiching one who may or may not have done a Scarface impression shortly before her audition. There’s a damn good shot we see two or three girls from tonight make the Top 36/24/12.

Pretty solid start to the final season. They’re giving us a little of the silliness, but really avoiding it. We also haven’t seen that many tears or breakdowns, although my sneaky favorite part of the ones that have shown are the people who say “I’ll be back next year.” Uh, no you won’t, unless you win Powerball, buy a share of Fox and bring Idol back for Season 16.

The ticket-winning performances:

Cameron Richard
“Give Me Love,” Ed Sheeran

Can’t tell if it’s a strategic move or what, but bringing out two young teens as the opening performer on back to back night really quiets idiots like me. Cameron’s accent threw me for a loop and I was ready for an absolute disaster. He was a good story and a nice surprise. He’s got no chance of winning American Idol – at least until he loses the cracks in his voice – but gotta respect a kid who gets up there and gets to Hollywood.
Oh, and beignets are the single greatest delicacy in the world.

Daniel Farmer
“How Does It Feel,” D’Angelo
His inability to speak in complete sentences and his crush on J-Lo had this going down the clown road, but this dude is real. He didn’t try to go D’Angelo high, which would have ruined him, but his voice is Top 36 worthy. Unfortunately his on-stage demeanor is that of an incredibly fat guy which would be OK if this dude wasn’t in shape. Still like him, but I can see his cheesy attitude and lack of musical background not letting him get that far.

Dalton Rapattoni
“Phantom of the Opera” Andrew Lloyd Webber

The second he came out I was ready for some punk cover because dude looks like Billy Joe Armstrong when Green Day was good and not corporate sellouts. Connick liked the song selection but I’m gonna say this – that won’t fly when he gets to the big stage. Pick whatever you want in auditions, but when it comes to live shows you’re picking for the viewers, not you.

La’Porsha Renae
“Creep” Radiohead

Mama’s headband game is strong. You put a baby in a big-ass headband and it’s impossible not to look super cute, so hopefully in Hollywood La’Porsha talks to Jordan Sasser and sets him straight. Based on the show’s history, La’Porsha is going down one of two tracks – she’s gonna ball out or she’s on the first train to Crazytown. I can see it going anywhere, but I’m hoping she’s good because a fro like that needs as much TV time as possible.

Trent Harmon
“Unaware,” Alan Stone

Panty dropper. This dude is not gonna have a hard time finding chicks to pair up with on Group Night. First rule of winning Idol is be a hunk and Harmon’s got that, then he hits you with that “aw shucks” country swag, then he comes out and sings R&B. Unfair. Probably has a huge hog … on his farm, of course.

Brook Sample
“Cold Day in July,” The Dixie Chicks
Love how Idol packaged super hunk Trent Harmon and Brook Sample in back-to-back auditions. They could get together and just have obnoxiously good looking kids and sell the babies to crazy rich people. It’s fairly obvious she’s gorgeous, but her voice was pretty good. Love the insecure act, typical chick move, but she’s gonna need something to separate herself from all the other country girls, but being of age and hot is a pretty good start.

Olivia Rox
“When I Was A Man,” Bruno Mars

Wasn’t really paying attention to the intro, but I thought her dad was Steve Perry from Journey and that would have been awesome. She’s a Jax-look-a-like – minus the X – and that look WORKS. Not in a creepy way though. She’s definitely in the Top 36/24/12 and has a chance to do well, provided Idol producers don’t shove her down our throats and make us sick of her.
(PS Just found out she tried out for America’s Got Talent? If Olivia wants to get on my good side, she’ll trash AGT and The Voice in one swooping blow)

Jessica Clark
“Come Together,” The Beatles
Nice hat. Really all I got. Not getting past Group Night.

Ameet Kanon
“Mercy,” Duffy
All I want to know is did J-Lo call her “Velvet” because she was talking about Ameet’s voice or because she saw that was her Twitter handle, or did Ameet change her Twitter handle because of what J-Lo said? Just need to know this stuff for my own sanity.
I liked her voice, liked her attitude, but I’m gonna throw this out here – I can see this girl being a MONSTER diva. It might have been the attitude within the performance, but if you’re gonna ask me “who’s gonna punch someone on Group Night”

Hollywood Night?

Hollywood Night?

I’d lay heavy odds on Ameet throwing a shot or at least instigating someone else.

Kayla Mickelsen
“Broadripple Burning,” Margot and the Nuclear So & So’s
For a person who’s practically invisible, Kayla is dark. That song selection had me questioning my life choices but she gets credit considering maybe 10 people who watch Idol had ever heard it before.
She can sing and perform and a WgirlWG plays well on Idol. She’ll have to get over the fact that she can’t pick strange indie songs that nobody except artsy people like, but that’ll come with time. What I liked most was her sense of humor, though, because if she can take a joke she’ll become a DRI favorite.

Melanie Tierce
“Rise Up,” Andra Day
Melanie is unfair because she’s beautiful. She’s not hot,but that’s because she’s just straight up beautiful. Other women HATE hot girls. Hate them. They trash them for the most insane reasons. However, other women do not hate beautiful girls. No one will trash Melanie because she looks like the girl in the photo that gets included with the picture frames I buy. She’s got me like:
Don’t tell the wife.
She’s Top 12. Has to be. Too good looking, she’s got a hippie vibe (NOTE: basing this all on the headpiece she had) and definitely will do everything possible to make sure people get along on Group Night. Melanie’s gonna be a fan favorite.

Malie Delgado
“Chariot,” Gretchen Wilson
When she started thinking my first thought was “whatever happened to Gretchen Wilson?”
I don’t know if this was the theme of the episode, but it just seemed like Idol strolled out super hot girls with awesome voices like they were coming off an assembly line. She has the attitude and the voice, but I’m really hoping for her and Ameet to get together because that’s gonna be where the Group Night fight happens.

Brandyn Burnette
“Lost,” himself

Brandyn looks like poor Bruno Mars. Like if Bruno Mars stopped being famous and was going coffeehouse to coffeehouse, that’s Brandyn. Not a bad thing, just pointing it out.
He shouldn’t be allowed on American Idol for the simple fact that he’s verified on Twitter and that means he’s already accomplished something which makes him ineligible in the eyes of anyone with the least bit of common sense.
He’s good. Not good enough that he couldn’t tell the difference between a hug from his mom and a hug from Harry Connick, but let’s not doubt the guy’s talent. He’s got the goods. He reminds me a little of Spencer Lloyd except with a less punchable face. I’ll be honest – I’m either gonna go all in on the kid or I’m gonna turn on him because he’s gonna get super cocky.
PS Not a huge fan of doing an original for auditions.

The Chavez Family
Papa Chavez is insane. Legitimate insane. I cannot understand a grown man’s obsession with this show.
Yes, I understand how hypocritical this is. But there’s a huge difference between Papa Chavez and me – I do this for fun. When I met the Top 6 from Season 14 last year, it was great, but I didn’t squeal like Papa Chavez did when he met Lee DeWyze. I mean, it’s Lee DeWyze, a borderline famous person.
Thought he was gonna cry when Seacrest brought him inside.

Shocked Dad didn't shove the other two out of the way

Shocked Dad didn’t shove the other two out of the way

I feel awful for Kyrsti Jewel, because you can’t do anything about an embarrassing dad. Just gotta sit there and take it. My kids are probably in for a similar experience, except I won’t go all high-pitch when I meet celebrities. Didn’t do it last summer when I met Clark Beckham on tour last year, so I’m pretty confident it won’t change in 10 years.
Kyrsti’s not winning, but it’s a great experience for her to get the ticket to Hollywood. Hopefully she can have a grandmother or aunt take her to Hollywood because Papa Chavez is gonna be an absolute trainwreck, which could be bad for her but awesome for all of us.

Tristan McIntosh
“Why Baby Why,” Mickey Guyton

Unless something goes horribly wrong, Top 12.

PS LOVED the sneaky J-Lo name drop. “I know Alicia Keys.”

PPS Cried on the rewatch.

PPPS My best GIF of the night.

Pretty solid start to the season, I’m gonna try and update daily leading into the shows. Give you all the fire-flame takes on Idol you can handle. Won’t do it this weekend though – it’s Wild Card Weekend.