Someone from Wednesday’s American Idol Auditions will win Season 15 unless something goes horribly wrong

Only negative thing to come from Wednesday night's show

Only negative thing to come from Wednesday night’s show

Wednesday night we saw the winner of Season 15 of American Idol.

Right now I’m all in on Adam Lasher – who I said was going to win Season 15 after he was unjustly evicted – but if you’re asking me to place a few dollars saying someone from Wednesday’s auditions will win, I’ll throw some serious cash down based on what we saw from Lasher, The Ginga Ninja Amelia Eisenhauer, obnoxiously talented and boy-band good-looking Mackenzie Bourg, hippie but maybe not Jenna Renae and Taylor Swift look/soundalike Emily Brooke and I’ll feel damn good about my chances to make it rain once the finale comes.

It’s just at that point of the season where you’re starting to remember names and when you start writing things down, you’re getting a good idea of who can and can’t be in the Top 24. As everyone’s favorite Idol blogger, I’ll make you this promise – I will not post spoilers. That ruins the show for me and I wouldn’t want to ruin it for anyone. I will say this – I know for a fact five people from this episode make the Top 24 and I know that because an Idol blogger I like said as much. He was smart enough to post a link if you wanted to know who they were, unlike the people at MJ’s Blog who tweeted a link with the warning “Spoilers” and then had a picture of the spoiler in the link. Idiots.

Wednesday’s episode was packed with talent and maybe my favorite interaction of the year with Clay Aiken berating a fat dude in a dress for being a clown, saying “This is a show that I like.” Fast forward six months and Clay is walking through an airport, trashing the same show that gave him his life.

Without Idol, Clay would be some skinny dork working at a South Carolina Best Buy, so while I loved him yelling at the kid, I’d like to think producers made sure to get that line in there to show what we all know – Clay Aiken has full blown crazies.

Tonight’s final audition episode should be pretty good and with two hours of auditions, should give us a handful of Top 24 contestants. We’ll see how the talent stacks up compared to Wednesday, where it seemed only the elite got the Golden Ticket.

Miranda “Poh” Scott
“Fairytales,” Sara Bareillas
Her odds of getting a ticket were high because if her sister – Shi Scott from Season 14 – can sing and make the Top 24, there was a pretty good chance she wasn’t going to be a hack. Had to love how she set the audition up, saying nothing but bad things and then getting into song. It was like Eminem in 8 Mile when he told the crowd all the bad things Papa Doc was gonna say. Poh did the same thing here; if she wasn’t good, the judges would have had nothing and it would have been crazy awkward. Based off the one audition, she’s either Top 24 or one of the last cuts, but she’s got the look and the voice that plays well. Downside would be if she makes live shows we’re gonna see a lot of crying Shi Scott and based off Shi’s post-audition statement on her sister, Shi is a bad crier. Snots for days.

Shi Scott gonna look like this if her sister makes the live shows

Shi Scott gonna look like this if her sister makes the live shows

Amelia Eisenhauer
“Many Rivers,” Annie Lennox

Right off the bat I thought Amelia was going to be a train wreck. Usually the combination of ginger + sword-wielding teenager = disaster. When she brought the fiddle out I was a little hopefully, but in the back of my mind I was ready for her to play that like Ferris Bueller played the recorder. Her voice changed everything. The Ginga Ninja is the best teen vocalist we’ve seen and it’s not close. I don’t want to spoil anything but my inside source tells me she’s Top 24. My inside source is my brain because this girl’s too good to not make the live shows and if she’s not Top 12 it’s going to be because she took someone out with her sword and producers had no choice but to kick her off.

Oh, and a PS – she’s got a little Jax-esque attitude. If I could wager on her making the Top 5 I’d do it right now.

Joy Dove
“Jambalaya,” No idea but it’s a delicious food
Joy has a big voice, but she’s got something else I like more and that’s a tinge of the crazy. She’s definitley going to have a meltdown during Group Night and being a sadist, I cannot wait for it. She’s got talent, but I can’t see her getting too far because I think LaPorsha Renae is a little bit better. Still, pretty excited to watch Joy Dove maybe punch someone.

The Nerds
“Who cares,” Not looking it up

The only part I liked was when the one guy said “we call ourselves nerds.” Uh, no dude, you are nerds. That’s like me saying “I call myself fat.” No, I am fat. You can’t say you call yourself that if everyone else does too. Good thing for me is I went to the gym today for the 11th time in 14 days and I can change. No changing nerd and the balding pony isn’t a hot look.

Mackenzie Bourg
“Judges Medley,” Keith Urban, J-Lo, Harry Connick Jr.

I’m not 100 percent convinced Mackenzie isn’t just Tommy Stringfellow with glasses on, like a Clark Kent/Superman thing here. If the former Voice contestant doesn’t make the Top 12 it’s either because Amelia stabs him with the sword or because producers decide they don’t want Mackenzie, Tommy and Adam Lasher (more on him later) as the Final 3 this year. His voice is perfect, it’s clear by the audition he understands how to arrange music and if he’s got experience on that inferior singing show, pressure won’t matter. And remember when I said who’s going to beat Tommy? Might have found the kid, unless my Clark Kent theory proves true.

Jenna Renae
“She Don’t Love You,” Eric Paslay

Not the best start in the world for Jenna. Gonna say they probably frown on contestants breaking shit before they’re even on the show. So Jenna’s Top 24 because, again, common sense. Her voice is terrific and while she played a country song, I don’t think she’s a country artist. Plus she’s sneaky hot. Sure, she wears that hat – which she’ll have to fight Amber Lynn from last week to see who can wear it in Hollywood – and has the feather earring and the type of attitude that she doesn’t care about stuff like that, but I’m just going to say that if she gets deep and throws on an evening dress jaws will hit the floor.

PS Amber Lynn conceded the right to wear the hat as I was writing.

Mario Bonds
“Inseparable,” Natalie Cole
At this point I’m convinced Idol is being super racist because we haven’t seen many black dudes with soul get to Hollywood. I liked Mario because of his voice and, with his style, the potential to sing nothing but Peabo Bryson songs all season. He could sing so it was a suprise to see him get cut, but it was more surprising because the dude is blind. Like, for real blind. That’s the story Idol producers love to show over and over and I can’t believe they passed that up.

Adam Lasher
“Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” Bob Dylan

Don’t forget, I was the first person to say Adam Lasher was going to win Season 15 and I know this because I said it last year when he got cut. If you don’t remember the circumstances, Adam got booted because he was a WGWG and it really came down to him and Mark Andrew but Mark was in his last year of eligibility. It was clear producers wanted both so Mark stayed and they told Adam to come out this year and he’ll be Top 24 and they’ll go from there. Do I have ANY confirmation on any of this? No, but I’m right because it makes perfect sense. Now all I need is one of my Idol contestants or Idol producers to confirm my theory. Just slide into my DMs like Slide DMs
So Adam’s winning American Idol. He’s quite literally better than everyone as an all-around performer. Are there better singers? Yup. Better guitar players? Yup. Better package? Well, since Adam ditched the grungy hippie look and practically went full Timberlake, I’ve got a better chance of winning Idol than anyone else does.

Emily Brooke
“Careless,” Raelynn

Speaking of people who were promised Top 24 spots, it’s Emily Brooke! She should have been there last year but Idol went with Maddie Walker as the cute blonde teen country singer instead. I’m guessing it broke down the same way because Emily was too good not to reach the live shows. She’s Top 24 and I don’t know how far she gets from there – it’s been really hard to read the country vote since the McCreery win – but she’s terrific and a poor man’s Taylor Swift who, coincidentally, was with Scott Borchetta and Big Machine Records. Funny how that works out.