Hollywood Nights: Group Night was filled with fights and drama. Just kidding, it was super tame but we saw a ton of good singers but I prefer the fights

This year's Crazy Stage Mom was like a three out of 10 on the insanometer.

This year’s Crazy Stage Mom was like a three out of 10 on the insanometer.


Not gonna ramble on too much here. So much stuff to cover.

Group Night was a minor disappointment on my end. I was really rooting for more fights, more drama and more people puking/passing out/being sick. Either Idol didn’t want to show it or it didn’t happen.

There’s no point in breaking down the predictable editing or what we could see for a week old episode. I’ll try to be better this week and get these up quick. If my kids could do me a solid and not break any more bones, that would be great.

Probably a great time to remind people to follow me on Twitter, or on Facebook, or SnapChat. Here’s my ghost. SnapGhost

Onto the recap.

THE PERFORMANCES

Blue Eyes
Kory Wheeler, Jordan Sasser, Jenna Renae, Kelsie Watts

Best group of the night and good strategy all the way around. Kory’s not playing to his strong suite here – pure vocals – so he leads off. Jenna Renae crushes her part, Jordan Sasser – whose auditions are getting better and better each time – knocks his out and here’s Kelsie Watts, who we haven’t seen all season but oops she’s good too. Best part of Blue Eyes was when the judges were prepping to make their decision, the cut went to Kory and he had a “well, I’m f*cked” face on.

Milk & Cookies
Jenn Blosil, Bri Ray, Lynnzee Fraye, Sara Sturm

I’m sure of a lot of things, but I’ve never been more sure of the fact that Jenn Blosil definitely named this team because of her and Lynnzee’s hair color being milky white. Solid debut for Lynzee – who I’m rooting against just because I’ll spell her name wrong a million times – and Bri, wish we had more of Sara and Jenn Blosil was her normal awesome self.

Ooh X 2
Amelia Eisenhauer, Tristan McIntosh, Lee Jean, Random blonde
Amelia is for reals. Loved that we got to see Tristan throw her voice out there instead of playing acoustic guitar and singing softly. She’s got better pipes than I anticipated and will be a tough out. Lee Jean just has it but he’s gonna need a monster performance this week to get to Top 24. The fourth girl is probably getting eliminated soon because they gave her zero seconds of airtime.

The First Montage
You can always tell who’s going to be in the running for a Top 24 spot during Group Night because if there’s a montage that features one person, you can be damn sure the rest of the group isn’t worth paying attention to. If there was a Season 16, “The First Montage” would be a great group name, BTW.

Avalon Young
I like Avalon, but I didn’t think she was good. Maybe it’s because she was dressed like a 14-year old skateboarder. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what I’m talking about. Or maybe it was because she was dressed like a 14-year old skateboarder.

Jeneve Rose Mitchell
I’m all in on JR Mitchell, provided someone on the Idol production team steps up and says “Uh, yeah, we’re not gonna let you dress like Woody from Toy Story anymore.”
JRWoody
She’s too good to go on stage in costume and I think if she had something on more fitting for someone her age, people’s heads would spin. Downside here is there is a glut of talented teenage singers and Idol can’t keep them all. Jeneve might be on the fast track to heartbreak city at the end, but I’m rooting for the kid as long as she promises to get a stylist for the live shows.

J-Lo’s Emotional Moment
Chynna Sherrod, Terrian, Who Knows, Who Cares
Both girls sounded more confident than they did in their original auditions. What’s hard to read was if this was a sign their going to be in a fight for a Top 24 spot or if Idol was just showing them to get the J-Lo “I’m going to miss Idol” moment. Part of me says no, because if that was the case they would have show all four. Part of me says yes and they just showed Chynna and Terrian because they were familiar faces. Either way, this sorta bummed me out and made me wish J-Lo decided to fund another season on her own.

Just Trent
Trent Harmon

For a dude who can sing so well, Trent dances like Elaine from Seinfeld. That’s not going to win him a lot of points. Healthy, he’s Top 24 but sick who knows. He could end up being the final Idol to pass out on stage, something he could take home with him if he doesn’t make Top 24. There is/was some time between Hollywood Week and the upcoming Top 24 performances, so maybe they put him through hoping he was going to get healthy? Seriously though, he’s the worst dancer on Idol since Phillip Phillips. He’s a bad dancer for a white guy and that’s saying A LOT.

No name but who cares because drama
Michelle Marie, Ashley Lusk, Lindsey Carrier, Shelbie Z
TRAIN WRECK. There was one good singer among the four and it was Shelbie Z, but gotta give it up to Michelle Marie for having the guts to partner with Ashley and Lindsey in the first place. As someone who was an awkward-looking 15-year old, I would have stayed as far away as possible from anyone who looked like they did. Thankfully, Michelle committed her second ill-advised hug of the season when she tried to devour Lindsey after she was eliminated, leaving Michelle one hug away from setting the awkward Idol record.

MONTAGE TWO
Elvie, RIP.
Ashley Lilinoe. Aloha.
MacKenzie Bourg. Superstar.
I do not feel good about my sneaky favorite Kayla Mickelsen getting in but them not showing her. Really think she has Top 24 potential.
Cameron Richard, thanks for coming. Enjoy making out with every chick in your high school and don’t forget – when you get to college, open with “I was on American Idol.”

Chicken Noodle Soup
Dalton Rapattoni, Anatalia Villarandi, Kassy Levels
Dalton was right – they should have a better name but to be fair, no one has a good name. Dalton proves he’s one of the best guys they’ve shown so far. The whole group thing soured me on Anatalia because she pointed blame toward her former group instead of herself. Kid, if you don’t want to perform the song and three others do, you’re SOL. Deal with it. Kassy was great but I’m wondering how she’ll play out compared to the other female vocalists.

NV
Sonika Vaid, Stephany Negrete, Andrew Nazarbekian

The Cullens Do Idol

The Cullens Do Idol


Every time they showed the three of them together, they looked like stars of an upcoming Vampire Drama on FOX. They definitely looked alike. I feel bad for Stephany because she touched the championship trophy without winning it, so she’s jinxed to hell. Andrew is the best vocalist among the guys and it’s not really close. He’s got Lambert range but I think his Eurotude is going to kick him in the ass. His one-on-ones are awkward and there’s not a lot of midwesterners who’ll relate to him. Sonika might be the best female soloist but let’s be honest – Idol isn’t filling six spots with girls who can just sing.

Trick or Treat Try
Marcio Donaldson, Jon Klaasen, Kylle Thomasson, Kayce Haynes
Forget the white dudes because they’re going to get lost in the mix, but who is Marcio Donaldson and Kylle Thomasson (I don’t know how but his first and last names are spelled wrong and if you would have shown me he name I would have guessed he was a super white guy, something Kyle with Two Ls is certainly not) and why is this the first time we’re seeing them? Marcio looks the part with the button up and the bow tie and being the only black pure vocalist we’ve see should lock him a Top 24 spot. Kylle might be my new favorite guy. Maybe it’s because he was dressed whiter than the two guys in his group, maybe it’s because he has a mane or maybe it’s because he’s actually a guitar guy and might make some noise in the Top 24. If you see these guys do solos this week, they’re in.

The Farmer in the Belles (I may or may not have made that up)
Joy Dove, Daniel Farmer, Lindita
So this group definitely hooked up with one another, right? Little 15-minute break in the middle of rehearsals to calm the nerves? Daniel Farmer won’t be an American Idol but he will be a sexual one.

Los Poriquas (Guessed on the spelling. I caught a D in Spanish in college)
Gianna Isabella, Eliz Camacho, Dana Ordway
The biggest upset from the group is Brenda K. Starr didn’t smack Eliz. Thought she was gonna get the finger wag and all 80s on her. We were all rooting against her, right? Bold of her to call herself a singer/actor/model when she appears to be none of the three. Glad to see her catch the boot, other than that there wasn’t much here. Gianna and Dana don’t have the goods to make the Top 24 but at least they killed Eliz.

The Good Vibes
Joe Dahman, Alesana Tolai, Olivia Thai, Jessica Paige
Hadn’t seen any of you before this moment so I don’t care. No Top 24 people here. Maybe Olivia. Probably not.

Montage Three
CJ Johnson, Jess Kellner, Jessica Baker, Zach Joseph
We’ve seen CJ, but it would have been nice to see the other three before this performance. First off, how do you not show Jess who (quickly checking her age) is the hottest chick on the show by a mile. CJ is too skilled not to be Top 24 and I’m not saying that because I want him to be my best friend and sing Yacht Rock all season. Jessica was good, but my rule is if you’re similar to someone in your group and they’re better than you, sorry you don’t get to make Top 24. Really think Jess is going to do some damage. Too hot not to make it.

Teen Dreams
Thomas Muglia, Joey Hendricks, Bryson Dunn, Thomas Stringfellow
Couldn’t get past Muglia’s horrible hair. Couldn’t get past Joey looking like he’s 30. Couldn’t get past Bryson potentially being MacKenzie Bourg in disguise. Thomas is a Top 24 lock.

Rebirth
Manny Torres, Malie Delgado, Christian Eason

Is it possible to buy more Manny Torres stock? Between him being the last audition and all the airtime he got in Hollywood Week, he seems set for Top 24 or a last-second elimination. Malie Delagado was good, didn’t do anything to make me think Top 24. Sorry Christian, backup singers don’t get to go to the Top 24.

Soul Cats
Laurel Wright, Marshall Cunningham, Drew Angus, John Arthur Greene
Gotta feel good to be Marshall and Drew. Finally get some airtime and whoops its them forgetting lyrics. Felt bad for Laurel because she’s a legit talent and I’m glad the judges put her through. I still don’t understand forgetting lyrics especially when my 4-year old hears a song twice and can sing the thing all the way through – and sometimes for 25 minutes straight, which is awesome for sanity.

The Sistas
La’Porsha Renae, Tonie Starr, Marlena Johnson
We can all agree Fro Real would have been the better name for the group. I love La’Porsha. Between the fro and the attitude – her running start to the group performance was sneaky the best part of the whole thing – there’s a real chance for some fireworks as long as she stays.
LaPorshaDance
Marlena forgetting the lyrics was one of the most awkwardly awesome things I’ve seen. Really like her potential to forget them live, which we haven’t had happen in years. We’re due. Tonie Starr? Sorry, porn star names don’t make Top 24.

OTHER NOTES
-I love Hollywood Scott Borchetta. Just dropping bombs on people’s hopes and dreams. If he throws out a “If you want to go home tomorrow, just do exactly what you’re doing right now,” instead of practicing, it’s probably time to pull a Poh Scott.

Poh’s sudden departure doesn’t make sense. Why would you just quit? It’s literally like buying a lottery ticket, hitting the first two numbers, then lighting it on fire.

-One of my favorite parts of Hollywood Week is remembered how much of a badass Michael Orland is. He rips contestants’ hearts out, cleans ’em off, then puts them back with a smile on his face. The fact he hasn’t gotten a spinoff show is insane.

-Is it coincidence that all the people they showed in the “bad dancing” montage were white? We just ruin everything.

-Makes me feel good that there’s a solid chance my 4-year old paints better than J-Lo does.

Anatalia’s mom being the crazy Momager this year was a disappointment. It’s the last season Idol. Give me more.

-With Harry, J-Lo and Keith sitting up in the stands at the theatre, it reminded me of those two old dudes from The Muppets.

-I still don’t understand how Kassy and Dalton can’t perform with two because someone quit but super sick Trent can. Thinking that Idol producers aren’t holding steadfast to that rule.

-If J-Lo looks like that while eating chocolate, I gotta start upping my Hershey’s intake.

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